to you, im glad i met you and think its kinda crazy how we barge into each other's crazy life. cause of who you are, made me reflect on who i am and who i wanna become. it made me become more self aware and you have influenced me to spare a thought for those around. that money and labels is not all that is in the world. unknowingly, you created a big impact in my life and while i maybe still the insecure, self centered person inside, im now clearer in whats important in life. so thx!

new year resolution for 2010:

i guess the most important thing is to get a headstart in my career. i know what i want, and i need to work towards it. nothing comes easy, i really need to be serious in my work. its the crunch time. 10 years from now, i dont want to regret my actions i do. gotta step on it

being a nicer friend. being alone reminds me of how important friends are in my life. i have been too selfabsorbed in my own world that i often forgot about others. think for others for a change.

i think i have serious security issues. thus, all the need of burberry and lvs and branded stuff to be noticed. nobody cares if im using an lv or tag, whats important is who i am inside. thus i seriously need to get over my insecurities and start being a better more confident person, without the labels. its just a label. it dosen dictate who i am as a person.

this is probably the worst new year i had. cold, tired, crowded and alone. everything seems to be overrated. nye in nyc is suppose to be happening and yet, i spend it alone and worn out. it all goes back to an ice berg theory, where things may not be what it seems. there are more important things to chase on other than materials of the world, cause everything is nothing if you're alone.

All I hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop
Oh baby, tell me why’d you have to go
‘Cause this pain I feel it won’t go away
And today I’m officially missin’ you

I though that from this heartache, I could escape
But I’ve had it long enough to know
There ain’t no way
And today I’m officially missing you

Chorus:
Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I’m officially

All I do is lay around, two years full of tears
From looking at your face all over
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don’t even know you at all,
I don’t know you at all

Well, I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it’s safe to say, baby
Safe to say that I’m officially missin’ you

Chorus:
Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I’m officially

Well, I thought I could just get over you, baby
But I see there’s something I just can’t do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can’t find a way to let go of you

Chorus:
Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I’m officially

It’s official
Hoo, you know that I’m missin’ you, yeah, yes
All I hear is raindrops, oh, yeah
And I’m officially missin’ you

Submitted some internship application today. Not sure how i should feel now too. Have been disappointed too many times to keep my hopes high. While i really hope that i can secure a good internship with a top bank, i cant help but wonder, what are my chances? there are so many better qualified students around. Students graduating from ivy league colleges around the world, students who obtained scholarships and excellent academic record. And after that, low self-esteem strut. the cruel reality of life that i am only a freaking small fish in this global pond.

But hey, I'm Jared! I wont let the reality of life hold me down. My determination will power me through. just have to put in more hours of effort and less on dota!

maybe its karma, but i guess i realize how it feels to be on the opposite side of the fence. but still, time heals more wound and i just need to get over this. i just need to think rationally

life goes by pretty fast. if you dun stop to look around once in awhile, you could miss it. so i'm gonna let everything all go, and be myself once again.

7th annual black friday was awesome. The atmosphere was really spectacular and the crowd is simply cool. and the best part, i snatched a black friday tee!!! we won Yale 5-2 though Yale seems to be playing better. the cheers was really 'in your face' gangsta rpi students. LOL. but the school spirit is just awesome, it would had made anyone feel apart of the school whether or not you are an exchange student. imagine if rpi would have made it all the way to the finals, the school atmosphere will truly be one of a kind. they are so proud of their school, a culture which is so different where i came from. springfield -> tpjc -> ntu; its no wonder i have no school spirit in me.

people never appreciates until its lost. Being out here in the USA, i've realized how important you are to me. ever night, i wish you're night next to me, smiling at me while i sleep. i thought that coming here, i'd have more space to breath, but everyday, its getting harder and harder. they say distance make the heart grow founder. being half the globe away, i cant be any further and my heart cant be missing you more. i miss you so much.

Finally my time has come. The taste of having freedom again just feel so damn good. No more waking up before the sun rise, no more runs, no more SOC, no more SAR21, no more outfield, no more camo cream, no more walking, no more missions, no more digging of trenches, no more officers who are a pain in the ass(there are some good ones though) and no more stay-in!!!!

But honestly, as i lock my office door for the last time, i just cant help but feel something for my battalion. There are alot of hard times, in fact, there is only hard times! haha. but it is through the hard times that sometimes reveal who we really are. and till date, i am quite please with what i've done. i am not perfect, i could have done alot more but i still think i did pretty well. My boss even said he havent seen such a responsible IC in a very long time. and though i am the newest guy in my plt(i only enter my battalion for less than a year as compared to 1.5 for the rest), my boss all trust me more than anyone else. esp when i was 'forced' to be 2IC for my platoon.

I cant say that i enjoy time in 3SIR. in fact, i hate it. all the nonsense that they do, all the extra stuff we have to do, and all the weekends i have to be in camp just to serve the duties. most of the time it drives me nuts. but at the end of the day, i survived being in an active unit. all the missions, the operations, the training, the UO demo and the most xiong event; ATEC!

Thinking back, my NS life have been quite good. i love my BMT( Scorpion rocks!!), SISPEC was damn fun, 3SIR was tough but fulfilling. the best part of NS is probably the friends that i've made through all the courses i went to. esp SISPEC. really glad my section still remain as friends and when we're free, we call and email each other to keep in touch. this is probably the best part of NS

Now that i going to ORD, its not really the end but the beginning of serving NS. the future to me is still a big question mark to me. what will i be doing, will i go outfield again, or will i just stay in office and slack is still very unknown. but whatever it is, i think it wont be that bad. really like to thank the people who been through NS with me. every single friend i made in NS, and my friends outside NS who are always cheering me on (you know who you are). every encouragement made me go a longer mile then i would have. so thanks ;p

P.S. ENJOY YOUR 2YEARS RECRUITS!!!!