Had a morning cal and woke up at 7...dragged myself up from the late night i had...was about to leave the house when a sms from belle came.....MOCK TEST AT 12 NOT 8!!!!!!!!! so i woke up at 7 for absolutly nothing...went to mac to meet belle and sopia for breakfast cause im alleged obligated to accompany them...but that was fine

Didnt study much and went for the mock test...and it was dreadful...totally brain dead...the questions are not say very very difficult...but im just not able to get my mind to think right...and the extra constant terms added in almost every question didnt help other than making the darn equation long complicated and tedious...gave up like after 2hours of agony and left...just like that...never in my life had i given up a maths paper...but whats the point of comparing...im in a Jc...doing fm,,,can i just stop having the mentality that i am darn pro at maths...as a matter of fact...maths sucks...i never thought i'll say this but...maths really really sucks...just my pure insanity to prostitute myself to slave for maths...its half of the subjects im taking la...16days left to the A level and i cant even secure Bs at prelim papers...whats this...by this time i should be able to tackle every topic...get As and Bs at prelim papers...not struggling for passes...considering i was like spending 2hours doing stuff to my blog (where spence only took 10mins to dot he same thing) how well can i score...sososososososososo wrong

Got home and saw mom...quite taken back since she is not suppose to be at home during such hours...and she asked how was my paper thinking my As have started (yea some mom...dun even know when his precious son A level paper starts...bet she dun even know when i was born...but at least she knows im doing my As...im so proud of er)...she asked me this question...'are you sure you can make it?'...thay sentence bothered me like the whole day la...all my life i've been looked down uponed...the dumber between me and my sis...the one who got into a neightbourhood school which i probably at the bottom 50...the one who probabl have absolutly no value other than wasting the family wealth on high end goods...ok...fine...so im not as good as my cousin who is in HC and was in chs...im not like him who is so thrifty and can save up thousands of dollars...i can only spend thousands and save up none...spend hundreds on tuition and still fail exams...like him so much...get him as your son la...stop bitching about me...fine...you got my life predicted and i'm gonna like live that poor pauper live while my sis is gonna live that Singapore dream...so you're gonna take that as what is really gonna happen...condemn me and disapprove whatever i do...have that mentality that everything i do will fail...fine im only in TPJC not some NJC where you expected me to...

Went out hoping that the night can be better...but all the emotions are just too overwealming...not to forget that that buses seem to keep pouring when i dun need them...and all none in sight when i wanna take them...waited like 20-30mins at the bus stop before finally boarding one...partly also due to my fickle mindedness...but the poking penguin thing below the tag board did made me feel better